The trip

I’ve never heard God speak to me, ever. I have on occasion spoken to God but I’ve never heard his voice or her voice for that matter. I don’t hear voices, well I thought the GPS might have been muttering under it’s breathe to me the other day, but I am devoid of auditory illusions hallucinations thus far in my life. I’m not on any prescription for any psychiatric condition that means I need psychotropic medication. Though I know many apparently sane people who say God speaks to them.

A friend said to me recently that we do what ever it is we need to do or want to do and some will say “God told me I should….” blah blah blah. Then they get to blame God when things go wrong and deny all responsibility for the ensuing carnage.

Rather I make a decision, decide it’s my decision, my choice and hope God is with me. This helps when deciding to declare war etc, it might mean that I wouldn’t go about declaring war on anything or anyone if it was my decision or delusion in the first place.

It makes me wonder who is this God person? There’s the Christian version, long hair, beard, hipster looking dude with plain clothes and a good suntan. Seems cool to me and he’s got a lot of followers.

There’s the Muslim version I’m not acquainted with him but I understand he’s got lots of followers too. He also sports a good suntan and wore sandals I think.

There’s Krishna, Shiva, Buddha and a host of others. Game of Thrones speaks about the old Gods and the new, blessings of the seven, in the name of rape pillage and all types of butchery.

Seriously though I do believe there’s a creative force that surrounds us and speaks to us however gently and quietly and I need to be still and quiet to interpret just what it is that this force, this creative power is trying to communicate. Surely all of the above Gods and the belief systems around them are ancient interpretations and attempts to understand this creative force or nature. We need answers to where the stars came from, how was the universe made, how did it just come about?

Are we so insignificant that we’re just part of an ongoing cycle of big bangs continuing into the infinity of the universe? A universe that is being born at one end and dying at the other end? And what is this creation this force this power that makes it all go on day after day year after year? Are we just part of an ecosystem like the fish we eat and the plants we harvest?

Simply put perhaps we invented this God to explain it all and let us sleep better at night. Somewhere is a heaven and a benevolent dictator father figure who loves us. We invented God to keep us safe at night. Like we invented tales of Little Red Riding Hood to keep children safe in the forest.

But I guess the thing is, this power still exists. We can’t deny that we are held together by a power bigger than us, greater than us. Denying that there is a God is like denying that there is a forest or a wolf because you don’t believe the stories it doesn’t make the forest or the wolf or God go away.



The very math that our civilizations are built upon is flawed, an infinite number of people divided into a finite amount of resources doesn’t compute. We will and are running out of resources, we are drilling for oil and building pipelines across sacred grounds, polluting drinking water so we can drive oil burning vehicles, when we could have been driving electric powered vehicles for many years now.

I once thought if everything I ever bought sold, breathed in, exhaled, threw away, ate, burnt, farted, buried, drank, pissed and shitted out had to remain with-in the quarter acre section I called home I’d be a lot more careful about what I used and how I used it.

The average American apparently throws away 82 pounds of clothing every year. I wonder who the average American is supposed to be but it sounds like he and she are slaves to fashion. Then there’s 52 tonnes of garbage in a life time each, 159 gallons of water a day per person, more shopping malls than high schools and 200,000 tonnes of edible food daily is thrown out just in the the US of A.

That’s just America, New Zealand continues to gobble up good productive farm land, building cities further and further out across the green hills, so New Zealanders get to sit for longer and longer periods of time in traffic to get to shop and buy stuff we do and don’t need.

We build intensive dairy farms across land once used for forestry or sheep and the effluent from almost 7,000,000 cows ends up in underground aquifers eventually poisoning water supplies. This while we keep presenting New Zealand as clean and green and a great place to live and visit. Well it isn’t as polluted as a lot of other places, not yet….

But the math doesn’t stack up, the more we promote it, the more we stand to ruin it and the more hypocritical it all seems.

It occurs to me that the more we compromise nature, the more we destroy things of nature, the further we are from God, whatever and whoever God is to us, be it an imaginary friend, as some would say; “my imaginary friend is better than your imaginary friend and I’ll kill you to prove it”. To me freedom is all about the right to think and feel what we want to think and feel as long as we do no harm in the process of acting on our thoughts and feelings.

The other bit of math that occurred to me recently is, the less I use, the less I desire, the less I need, the less I want, the less tied to earning money and the less tied I am to a lifestyle I no longer want and the closer I feel to God, any God.

I am no longer a slave to anything or anyone, a slave to myself, an employer or any societal expectations. I am free.

I guess I choose the long haired hipster dude over the others and maybe a touch of the fat guy with the smile on his face, but that’s because I’m who I am and have been bought up around images of the God we have chosen in this so called Christian civilization. If I was born in Delhi I’d probably go with Shiva, she’s pretty hot even by Delhi standards.

The rights of others to believe what they want to believe is central to my belief in freedom and the rights of everyone to live how they want to live, with minimum harm to anyone else and the environment.

It’s taken me some time to get myself seated and write this and I have no idea where it came from or why I’m writing it. I guess I’ll say, no God didn’t speak to me, I thought this up myself but…. If there is a God… proof denies faith and faith rides in the face of evidence to the contrary but I believe and so do many millions of others.

The trick is believing without proof, without being a dick, without causing harm or bashing anyone over the head with your legalistic views and rantings about who is right and who is wrong.

God is love and love is God or so I’ve heard… I could be wrong and there’s many who’ll pick verses from Leviticus this or Corinthians that to prove me wrong, but proof flies in the face of belief and I choose to believe and risk being wrong, because not believing flies in the face of the very reasons that are presented to me that say belief is fiction.

We can all feel love (most of us anyway) at one time or another in our lives. But love can’t be measured or seen, quantified, smelt, touched held in our hands. The staunchest atheist wouldn’t deny love, but still denies God. The freedom to deny God’s existence is something I believe in too, the freedom of thought, freedom of belief, freedom not to be a dick and to live side by side doing as little harm as possible and I suppose this conversation will continue.

Next time I’m driving somewhere and I think the GPS is arguing with me because I’m driving across some uncharted territory the GPS hasn’t been programmed with as yet I’ll think of it as God is speaking to me via Nav Man and is telling me “The road you’re following doesn’t exist, it hasn’t been built yet” even though I can see it in front of me stretching out to the horizon.

If I only obeyed the voice, in my head or outside my head for that matter, I’d be lost confined to a set of beliefs imposed on me, in denial of science, common sense and evidence to the contrary. There is no convenient conclusion to this little diatribe, a conclusion is an end and the story is still being written, at least whilst we’re all still here drawing a breath. Maybe once the Big Bang has long since gone and we’re spiraling helplessly into a sticky end in the gravitational pull of a super nova sun or as my spell check just informs me Super Nova Sunday, we’ll know for sure.

Until then I tend to like things being a bit open ended and up for discussion free thought and interpretation.

Is it any wonder the trip is better than the destination. The trip is about imagination, the destination is reality and it seldom matches our expectations.

I suppose I’ll probably be a bit let down if I ever to get to meet some smelly unkempt hipster in sandals and he’s introduced to me as God…..


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